From: Douglas Bertram
You talk about dealing with medical staff that are helpful to the player, if the staff is willing to help the player wouldn't they be just as likely to not give the player the medication that the player needs adrenaline to counteract? And if staff members are helping the player by giving them things couldn't they be used to help distract guards by call them to medical or some other location to give the player an easier route to escape?
From: Zachary Hiwiller (Instructor)
That intro needs to go. It adds no information to your presentation and is jarring. Additionally, you are more likely to gain a laugh from your "Welcome to Hell" start than to set the mood.
You have a very detailed diagram in your Objective slide, but it only takes up half the screen. It is very small and hard to read. Why is it not the entire slide? What information is it relaying or it just a random map?
I'm having trouble understanding why your resource system is a circle instead of a line. Isn't adrenaline one end of a spectrum and insanity the other end? If you have clarity, then you don't have insanity, so why are they three separate resources? This is very confusing.
Bartering with NPCs is good. But it seems like the major part of the game is sneaking/combat, but you don't cover this at all. I need to see what the player does on a moment-to-moment basis to understand the scope of the gameplay just as much as I need to understand the overarching elements like numbers of levels. The former is difficult to adjust while the latter is easy.
From: Michael Dagastino
In your pitch, it feels like some of the mechanics are fighting with each other. On the one side, we have adrenalin, clarity, and insanity, the other side covert ops. The three resources had the game feel like it was similar to a roguelike and a bullet hell, where the player must keep moving to be successful. The other mechanics, bartering and bribing, seem like the player should take their time, and may be stay in a ward for a while to grind for resources. To me, the two styles don't mesh together well.
What if you got rid of adrenalin, and instead had insanity/clarity. Fighting/bartering for resources to keep you sane while escaping the wards could be one way of fixing the clashing mechanics.
From: Whitney Walton
My main comments have to do with the presentation itself. The opening animation thing you have is extremely loud compared to the rest of the video, so it wasn't pleasant to have it blaring after I turned my audio up to be able to hear you. Also, I believe some of the images you have don't necessarily make sense to the theme or go well with what you're describing. (For example, the white eyeball for secrets). For the trade items, I kind of was surprised to see buttons as one of the main items. The other two made sense, just not the buttons. Also, who exactly is the player? Is the player a patient or someone who got lost in the asylum?
If you're using ScreenFlow for your presentation, then I found a way to eliminate the Demo Mode watermark. I will link the video explaining how to do so, however the video is made by a kid so you'll have to skip through his rambling.
From: Rustan Bowers
The adrenaline/clarity/insanity meters are vital aspects of the game. While you do explain how the individual meters are lost or gained, it would be helpful if you gave some specific examples of player actions and how those action will affect all three meters. This will give the viewer a better understanding of expected player activity and visual representation of how the three meters interact.
From: Wesley Anderson
I understand what the player must do in order to escape the asylum but what exactly are the player choices? It seems like they really don't have options, they have to do certain things or they will not progress in the game. I think you have meters down and they look pretty good. With a little more work I think this could be a fun game.